


Lists

by Kml19



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, all of the characters are very vaguely mentioned, i have a fic to finish and instead I am doing this, just something to suffer and then have some hope, minus andrew and cass, not sure what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 05:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12741600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kml19/pseuds/Kml19
Summary: Evolution of how Andrew sees Cass and Happiness





	Lists

**Author's Note:**

> It's 2 am and I got inspired by the song Hold onto me from Mayday Parade... Now beta'd (A million thanks to iMOCKusALL for doing it for me! She did a amazing job at 2am!)

The scent of cookies invaded his room sweetly waking him up. Andrew couldn’t remember when it was the last time he had woke because of a sweet smell, so that meant it probably never happened. He looked at the clock on his nightstand and it said 8:49 am so that meant Cass wasn’t going to go to work today, her husband tried to make cookies like hers once, needless to say he was forbidden to ever try again. Andrew got up and slowly got down the stairs, careful to not show any sign of the stinging pain he still felt from _last night_ , he found Cass on the kitchen as predicted.

“Good morning sweetie” She said when she saw him standing at the door. “It’s just you and me today. Richard went with Drake to solve some things at his office.” She gave him a light kiss on the forehead when he passed by her to sit down and Andrew was proud at himself for not flinching from the contact. “If everything goes right Richard can convince Drake to take a job there since he came up with this story of waiting to go to the army…” She kept saying more to herself than to Andrew. “Anyway, I made cookies, the ones you love. I thought we could eat breakfast while we wait for these to get colder then we eat them and don’t tell Richard.” Cass finished conspiratorially. Andrew smiled softly and hummed at her and she said a little ‘yay’ at his answer.

Andrew liked to do lists of the things he liked about Cass that he used to remind himself every day the reason he was fighting ~~even if it didn’t feel like fighting anymore…~~

_Reason number 17 - She knows I don’t talk much and doesn’t pressure for more_

_Reason number 18- She knows what I like to eat_

“We could also watch that new police tv show” She said opening the oven to look at the cookies.

_Reason number 19 - She knows I like tv shows about crime_

Andrew hummed again. He was pretty sure that that was it. That Cass making cookies getting ready to watch tv together was the best thing that could happen to him. Cass Spears was Andrew Doe’s happy ending. They really existed.

 

It was harder to convince himself that at night, not so alone in the darkness of his room. But during those minutes that felt like hours Andrew kept repeating to himself the list over and over again.

_Reason number 1 – She noticed I don’t like hugs and never tried again_

_Reason number 2 – She doesn’t ask about the bruised hands_

_Reason number 3 – She doesn’t flinch at me when she discovers about the bruised hands_

_Reason number 4 – She doesn’t get mad for the smoking_

_Reason number 5 – She doesn’t blame me for accidently breaking something_

_Reason number 6 – She doesn’t ask why I can’t get up from the bed for two weeks_

_Reason number 7 – She doesn’t try to talk to me about my real family_

_Reason number 8 – She doesn’t get mad when I eat too much sweets_

_Reason number 9 – She doesn’t ask why I do badly at school even if I have eidetic memory_

_Reason number 10 – She said she was proud of me_

_Reason number 11 – She said she wasn't going to pass me to another house if I didn’t want to_

_Reason number 12 – She doesn’t ask about the bloody sheets_

_Reason number 13 – She doesn’t ask about the bloody tiles on the bathroom floor_

_Reason number 14 – She doesn’t ask_

_Reason number 15 – She cares_

_Reason number 16 - She really does_

_Reason number 17 - She knows I don’t talk much and doesn’t pressure for more_

_Reason number 18- She knows what I like to eat_

_Reason number 19 - She knows I like tv shows about crime_

_Reason number 20 -  She is my happy ending._

* * *

 

 

When Andrew told Betsy about the list years after she looked softly at him (he didn’t think anyone could do it anymore, he was Andrew Minyard, he wasn’t something to be looked _softly_ at) and asked if he noticed what was wrong in it. At the time he said no, and it took some time for him to see what was wrong. It wasn’t the list itself, it was some things that were there, if not all of it. Apparently there were some things that were automatically expected from a mother figure so if she did something as simple as know what he likes to eat it shouldn’t be so special. Andrew went on a rant about how that was something to be cherished since she was the only one that remembered (he was medicated, it was easy to rant about things on that state). She then made him look at the other parts of the list, she told him that ignoring things didn’t mean she was being good to him, it meant she was being neg- he cut her right there. He didn’t want to hear the rest of it. What use was create defects in Cass now? He already lost her. It would just be petty to make her less than she was now.

 

* * *

 

 

It was at Aaron’s trial that Andrew finally saw the truth. And it was like being run over by a bus. He promised himself that he wouldn’t look at anyone during his testimony and he almost succeeded but his innocent part, his part that wanted to see surprise, finally understanding, maybe guilty in Cass’ eyes made his look at her.

She wasn’t looking at him.

She was looking angrily at Aaron.

Not a little bit of surprise crossed her features.

She didn’t even seem to be paying attention to him. He was nothing in her grief for her son.

Then the lawyer asked him the question he was dreading the most.

_Has it happened before?_

Andrew breathed like Bee had told him many times and opened his mouth to answer when he noticed Cass was looking at him.

She looked at him in the eyes and shook her head.

It wasn’t a shake of the head of _tell me it isn’t true_ or _I can’t believe I didn’t notice anything._

It was a simply _Don’t say anything._

That moment was worse than when he recognized Drake at Luther’s house.

 

* * *

 

 

That night he locked himself in the room and wished deeply that he could forget the _goddamn list_ because now it just existed to mock him and his innocence.

 

* * *

 

 

He didn’t make a new list. Looking at Neil sleeping at his side on the bed he has a million reasons of why he wants to keep this but he doesn’t make a list.

Not because he is afraid that one day the new list will mock him like the other one.

It’s because he knows he doesn’t need to remember himself the reasons, it’s in every breath he takes. It’s less about Neil and more about how far he came. It’s less about something as silly as happy ending and more about how he knows it’s not easy but he will be damned if he gives up now. It’s less about the things he went through and what Neil did and more about the things that will still happen and how Neil surprises him every day.

It’s because he knows he doesn’t need to make a list to keep it. It’s already his.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it~~


End file.
